Missing Parenthood in India

Recently, most of us came across the news whereby a 74-YO lady in India set a world record by delivering healthy twins via C-section, having attained pregnancy through IVF procedure. A few people have appreciated the couple’s grit at this ripe age and also, lauded the entire medical team’s sincere and well co-ordinated efforts. But most of our society has badly criticized their decision, particularly centering its questions on the upbringing of the twins and the medical ethics of the team that ultimately helped them.

My two fundamental questions to the people criticizing this event:

  1. If this medical team could do the entire procedure in a safe manner (after weighing other health vitals and doing psychological counselling) on the 74-YO lady, who has been yearning and trying for conception for 57 years, then why did other medical institutions/doctors fail at such a or similar performance earlier? Or were they just indifferent to the couple’s agony as is the case in many instances?
  2. Those who are so concerned about the twins, why don’t they come forward and adopt them later, let alone celebrating the old lady’s joy of conception and motherhood?

And I have no words for people so thankfully relating population control and childless couples!!!!!

It is easy to criticize, blame, ridicule, taunt, tease on these issues in our society. Women who fail to conceive, whatsoever be the reason, are still labelled “barren” in different jargon across India. Nothing changes it yet. For in India, motherhood still largely means through biological conception!!! Whether in cities or villages, how many people are sensible towards the women/couples somehow deprived of it? How many come forward to defend their helpless and even utterly depressive situations? In any social function, the childless women feel (made to feel actually!) a certain degree of isolation and incomplete status in their lives. They are mercilessly compared to women with children or multiple pregnancies, and rigorously questioned. It does not matter what or how much they do for themselves, their families and the society. If such childless couples divert their time and energy for philanthropic works, even then most of them are teased – “what else will you do?” Many people merely preach on adoption. But how many will go for it if it were their case? And they also later ask – “won’t you have your own genes.. own baby, at least one?” As if parenthood lies in DNA only!! Then there are couples who emotionally need their biological legacy to continue; that could be for various reasons. Likewise, there are several other issues.

It is this increasing magnitude of brunt over the years that compels many such affected women to forget every pain..every criticism, and take high risk of pregnancy irrespective of their age and even other health conditions. The attempts itself could be very traumatic. Then the mental, psychological and emotional well-being becomes all, especially as certain hormones also drastically change with increasing age. All these unleash a great amount of toll on their husbands and immediate families as well. Only a strong couple can fight the situation and sail together – whatever solution they finally choose, with or without medical assistance.

The other hugely concerning chapter for childless couples is the changed bill/laws on surrogacy in India. Well, it is good that the option is no longer commercial; so it cannot be misused. But due to ill-regulations, the genuinely infertile/intending couples are much losing it out!! Some of the current conditions of altruistic surrogacy in our country is worth a larger debate and re-consideration. For example – the surrogate mother has to be a ‘close relative’. Even if ‘close relative’ gets defined, can every such genuinely intending couple find a ‘close relative’ to be a surrogate mother? The search of fulfilling this criterion further erodes the couples’ biological clocks, and deters authorized/good fertility centers and hospitals from taking up the cases in ethical ways. And how many surrogate mothers shall come forward for an altruistic one? The ‘close relative’ provision will definitely also have emotional and psychological implications on the associated members at some point of time!! The new bill/laws also do not consider an intending biological mother’s incidental health factors like diabetes, hypertension, etc. risking a normal full-term pregnancy to make her a fit case to opt for surrogacy. Is this right? Isn’t the new bill/law rather adding to the trauma, woes and desperation of such already helpless couples? Parenthood is ridden with biological, emotional and psychological aspects. It is much beyond conception and delivery of a baby; and therefore, neither couples should be callously made to wait for indefinite time, nor they can wait beyond a certain age!

Similarly, CARA (Central Adoption Research Authority) provisions need to be modified for faster process of adoption in India.

Could all the stakeholders concerned in our country care to think on these social issues, and quickly pave real solutions for the childless couples by generating awareness, streamlining medical choices, acting within a reasonable time-frame and bettering lives? The solution should also include sensitization of the society towards empathetic behaviors with childless couples and adoption, and cheerful inclusion of adoptive parents and adopted kids in our diverse system.

 

 

Health Care in India – Ankho Dekhi

Since last week, a restrictive pain developed in my left thumb. Initially, I thought it was probably due to its supporting the smart-phone, and would gradually heal on its own.

Parr, kal laga thodda lafda hai udhar… 🙂 (But yesterday I felt that there is something serious!), as I noticed good snapping /locking in the thumb and a semi-hard ‘nodular’ protrusion at its base! Apprehending that it could be arthritis type, today morning we went to a very reputed hospital near our locality in Bangalore. However, to our surprise they did not have a full fledged Orthopaedic ward. So we had to check at yet another big and well-known hospital which is around 10 k.m. from our place. Amid scorching heat, high pollution, horrible traffic and pathetic road conditions, reaching hospital in time is an achievement in itself!!

The doctor was very cordial and interactive. After a quick inspection, he told that I have got a Trigger Thumb (stenosing tenosynovitis). Probably, this is because of wear and tear which has occurred due to pressure of heavy load on the tendons. Yeah..since last one month, I have been handling four green coconuts (knotted) daily. So may be this is the main reason…

When we asked the doctor about the treatment, he nicely explained us with a diagram giving the following options:

Option-1. Steroids : not recommended for my constitution.

Option-2. Surgery : yes, a simple 10-minutes procedure with local anaesthesia (no admission required) and bio-dissolvable stitches; no antibiotics and a simple pain-killer pill post the procedure.

After hearing that we have insurance coverage, he introduced us to their insurance team. When we talked to the insurance team, they said: “It is a very simple thing…you just call us and get admitted. The estimated cost of the operation is just 95,000 INR” !!!

They also mentioned that though no tests are “actually” required for this, in order to support insurance papers, one ultrasound test will be done on the day of operation; and that as usual, I need to get admitted in the hospital for at least a day !!

We didn’t know whether to cry or laugh 😦  … chupchap udhar hii khana khaake agaye (we just came back home after lunch).

With this kind of experience, finally I had to listen to my father’s advise (he is also a doctor). For the next 5-6 weeks, I’ll try wearing a splint and soaking my thumb in warm water. I will take a call on surgery after that, even whether to do it in Bangalore or some other place !!

Bhai, 10-minutes ki ek simple surgery ke liye 95,000 INR (for a 10-minutes simple surgery they charge 95,000 INR) – FOR WHAT !!!!

I remember that this same reputed hospital had billed me charges like “OT fees” & “Operation Theatre charges” /”Surgeon fees” & “Doctor fees” /”Others” & “Misc. charges” & “Etcetera” in 2011.

This has happened with me, can happen with anyone, any time. And we all suffer today or some other day.  How can common man afford such large, unreasonable sums ? Pathetic ! No control over this kind of loot !! Moreover, what about the ignorant /uneducated people who don’t even understand the details ???

Just wondering why we all are after Mallya only… what are these ? Why is the media silent in this, and no comment from RaGa /AK /Raja ?? Wondering if there will be any debate (in media or Parliament) on the sorry state of our health care system.

The common man is being looted in many ways. Uski awaaz koi sach mein nahi lagata… Kyon, ye “tolerance” levels cross nahi kiya ?!?!? (No one voices the common man’s concerns… Why, has it not crossed his levels of “tolerance”?)

Further note, today :

Time spent with Doctor = 5 minutes
Doctor’s fees = 600 INR
Time spent with Insurance team = 15 minutes
Time spent in Canteen = 40 minutes
Canteen charges – 120 INR
Time spent for Travel = 1 hour 20 minutes
Conveyancing charges = 600 INR

Aamjunta – just think over it…

Azadi – is my right or responsibility?

I completely condemn the anti-national sloganeering at JNU campus ! Particularly, it being an iconic university and the way political parties such as Congress, Leftists and AAP supported it. Ultimately it turned out to be another political agenda of non-BJP parties / supporters just like the ‘awardwapsi‘ !!

A lot of ‘tamasha‘ and ‘dramabaazi‘ – inside and outside the Parliament, in the court rooms, in the news studios, in the main stream media as well as in social media. Just wastage of our time, money and intellectual discourse. Media houses are divided completely based on their political inclinations, not on facts. People on the social media are too divided mostly as a result of their frustrations, political inclinations and common sense.

Surprisingly after 67 years of Independence we are debating over ‘Azadi‘. Like ‘garibi hatao‘ sloganeering this will only become another slogan; only to fool people for votes. ‘Dissent’ and ‘Freedom of Speech’ are being misused only to achieve political goals. It is not being applied where it should be or can be.

Recent acts of certain media houses certainly opens the debate whether the media houses act for the country or against the country !!! Do they only see these events as opportunities to score their political or business mileage in the name of’Free Speech’ and ‘Azadi’ ? Many like me certainly cast serious doubt on this.

Disgusting editorials, opinions and front-page news items only reflect that the self-proclaiming ‘intellectuals’ are ‘intolerant’ and jealous of the development India is witnessing these days. The spirit and language of the so-called elite /educated /intellectual mass has sometimes made me think that I  would perhaps prefer to be uneducated, but dedicated towards the uplift of the society, and preserving the pride and dignity of my country.

However, I am also concerned with the Central Government’s response on this JNU row.

It is not yet a matter of being right or wrong; soft or harsh. But why was this hotchpotch approach and seemingly ‘no-control’ over even basic law and order ?!? Who were these ‘lawyers’ and why did their action repeat even after the SC order ?? Initially why was there no quick and solid directive? Why was a delay in taking action?  Why was then no specific /consistent statements from the Police (under Union Home Ministry) and the Ministry ?  There should have been quick and proper investigations and actions.

All these so contrary… so disappointing, especially when the supporters of the present Central Government are expecting a constitutionally justified, strict and non-sympathetic response… and additionally, some strong provision which will deter such nuisances in the future !

These nuisances and ‘dramabaazi‘ erupting often nowadays, only prove that though this country has a glorious history and unmatched legacy of brave hearts, kind hearts and geniuses, it has got miserably infected with the ignorant mass, the ‘chamchagiri‘ public, the utter selfish, the ‘satta‘ hungry and the traitors !!!!

What worries millions like me is the unwanted, disrespectful dragging of our Armed Force. Media houses, political shouting in the streets of JNU and other so called liberal universities are only pointing their frustration towards our Armed Forces. By calling them rapists, and comparing them with Maoists, these people not only show their low mentality, immature brain, selfish agenda against the nation, but also bring chaos in the society and spread hatred in many sections of it. How can they dare to insult the heroes of our Armed Forces? Is this called ‘Free Speech’ or ‘Azadi’? Are we all stupid to allow such kind of nuisance in the society?

Surprisingly, the same India where the Parliament used to get united against any external complications or aggression as well as internal turmoils, is now getting divided over silly political reasons and selfish attitude of some ‘netas‘ and their supporters. While RaGa has shown his true color after losing election, AK has shown his after winning election.

I am afraid that the BJP may again lose the next state elections – bad for the states, bad for the country – just as desired by its useless opponents, and the new breed of ‘anti-nationals’ who have been otherwise happily sleeping for the last decade over crores of corruption, appeasement, goonda-raj, and non-development chapters !!!

The ‘Make in India’ week lost the lustre on media columns. A rocky Budget Session has already started struggling in order to pass major bills and laws so awfully needed.

Again repeating what I said some months ago : absolutely high time for the Central Government to refocus, reorganize and act differently !

Aamjunta – it is your time to judge the right and wrong. Your action is needed ; not the golden silence.

Jai Hind.

Death Penalty in India – should it stay or go ?

The Law Commission of India has recently recommended abolition of the death penalty except in terrorism-related offenses and waging war against the country.

There are dissent notes within the Law Commission itself…

Nevertheless, let me say that if I were to debate as a common man, then these points would be my fundamental questions to the Commission :

(1) To what extent do you define ‘terror’ ? Or is it only limited to ‘waging war against the nation’ ?

To cite some scenarios :

(a) “Terrified” by the frequent incidents of rapes and assaults on women (including acid-attacks), many women are unwilling or scared to travel alone !!!

(b) Senior citizens living alone are “terrified” to open their doors to domestic-services staff or friends or relatives because of incidents of murders or attempts to murder, for pecuniary greed by persons even very well-known to them !!!

(c) Parents in villages are “terrified” to send their female children to schools because of instances of luring by powerful men along the routes for their sexual gratifications !!!

(2) What about the rights and justice for the victims and their families ???

(3) When certain serious crimes (numbers or types) have increased, as against yet lagging Police and Judicial reforms, then should it not be the other way, i.e., to try continuing implementation of death penalty as a deterrent ??

It may not work for all cases but definitely, it deters many potential perpetrators !!

In this regard, I favor certain aspects of the Sharia Law like it happens in Saudi Arabia. We actually need those kind of justice system in some cases !!!!

(4) By abolishing death penalty in all other cases except “terror” ones, the maximum punishment then would be only life imprisonment : that means, we are rather going to feed, entertain and provide security to the criminals at taxpayer’s expenses !!!!!

And this term ‘life imprisonment’ (though the SC has said it means for the entire life) is still handled unclear, with regard to certain provisions of bail and constitutional powers of states !

(5) And in any case, if the imprisonment is merely limited by certain number of years, then you know what – anything can just go fatally wrong again, revenge or whatsoever !!!!!!!!

Wouldn’t this worsen matters, along with an increase in the number of litigation (which could be avoided) ??

(6) How do we then differentiate severity of various crimes and the appropriate punishments ? So, even the “rarest of rare” or “brutal” crimes like Nirbhaya’s case, would not be punished with death penalty ?? Is a rape-victim not “terrorized” in any way ????

Another heinous and rarest-of-rare example is the Nithari killings, where 19+ innocent children were killed and then raped.

(7) Our scriptures speak about punishing the evil… Particularly, then considering the numerous and ages-old preaching /illustrations /’gyaan‘ from the Vedas, Upanishads and Bhagvad Gita – all of them are utterly wrong ????

Forgive all criminals even if they have terminated lives and tormented souls forever !?!

Would then such a recommendation be apt ?

Eagerly waiting to hear the Hon’ble SC on this matter……………

 

Government Schools for All – a Dream !!

I am so glad and thankful to the Hon’ble Allahabad High Court for it’s recent order regarding the conditions of Govt. Schools in Uttar Pradesh. Finally the judiciary has intervened, when the executive (administration) and legislative (‘netas’) have failed in taking serious and necessary steps for our future !!!!!

school

I fully agree with the observations of the High Court that the conditions of Govt. Schools are really shabby – just one teacher for the entire school (to teach 5 classes at a time and also to do other activities like monitoring mid-day meals, counting census, poll-duties, vaccination programs, etc. !!), no building or an unsafe building, no seating arrangement, pending salary for months altogether and sometimes at a very low salary (contractual, block-grant teachers etc.), recruitment scams (VYAPAM is a live-example) and even over-crowded class rooms !!!!

Hope good sense prevails, and further litigation counts are not raised by bogus contestants of this order in the Supreme Court ! Though I am quite convinced that our Apex Court will uphold this order (if contested), but the delay in our judiciary process /system may dilute the intention. The delay could be because of backlogs, vacancies in position of respective Judges, long procedures or lack of infrastructure.

And I completely agree with the view of lakhs of fellow citizens that a Bill must be passed mandating the same in every part of India – be it in metros or remote villages, and till High School level !! If Right to Education (RTE) is a fundamental right, then it should be uniform across every strata of our society.

Only then, we can expect our present education system to change for the better – like it was even few years ago…where children later excelled in every sphere of life, despite living in remote villages; sometimes, t-o-g-e-t-h-e-r granted just one Government school !

Moreover, after paying various types of taxes and then education cess tax, why do parents nowadays have to send children to mushrooming private schools ???? Schools, where even the basic infrastructure is not there – no playground and no place for any outdoor activity !! Isn’t this sort of a financial loot (I think the term cannot be merely expensive) ?!?

Wish a similar order is passed that all ‘netas’ & their families will have to avail treatment at a ‘sarkari’ hospital only, and that they will not simply fly abroad for any medical treatment – small or big – whether at their own expenses or at the taxpayer’s expenses !! Hopefully then,  the conditions of Govt. Hospitals can be improved…….

Aamjunta – what do you say ?

A Lesser Known Tale of India’s Freedom Struggle

“Freedom pertains to either the choice of one’s own bondage(s) or helplessness against brute force !!”

Wish you a Happy Independence Day… JAI HIND !!

Along with photos from Andaman & Nicobar Is., I am sharing a page of a very significant chapter in the history of India’s freedom struggle as established and thereafter, predicted by Netaji.

This part is neither known to many of us, nor expressed in the speeches of the present political leaders nor featured by any media !!!!

Photo1

Photo2tales of torture…

Photo0Veer Savarkar’s cell…

Photo3Cellular Jail – one cell

Photo4Cellular Jail – torture marks !!!

Photo5Veer Savarkar’s cell…Photo6

Photo7Jai Hind !!!Photo8a lesser know tale of our freedom struggle…

“…an act first of its kind in the history of British rule in India…
during the course of the day, the National Flag was hoisted atop the British chief commissioner’s residence in Ross Island… Netaji had then expressed the hope that some day the same flag would fly on the Viceroy’s House in New Delhi.”

Photo9

Living Right Above a Happening Lane

Living “near” a lane or a street is perhaps merely noisy and dusty !!

But after a year, I realize that living right “above” a lane, with some view of an open space and a city skyline, is great fun despite it being noisy and dusty during day time.

One gets to see so much of life…

Dawn : a sky full of purpose, freedom and hope unfolds with an air of freshness, birds fly around and the lake reflects on the soul amid enchanting bells of nearby temples… a little later – one sees enthusiastic morning-walkers, the carefree appearances of the colourful garland-makers, the business of water-tanks, milk supply and newspapers, the hectic pace of the bai (domestic help in India) who otherwise never misses the malli-phool gajra (a jasmine flower garland) :), the time-bound biking cooks, the grunt and the smile of school-goers, the anxiety of job-seekers, the contentment and stress of office-goers, the gazing cabs and autos seeking to be hired… the gathers of daily-wage earners queuing in their yellow helmets and some holding tools… the luring calls of the vegetable and fruit vendors… the errands of the peon, the hopping and laborious tasks of the courier and packer-mover agents………

Noon : and then one can see some cattle grazing on the few green patches near the lake… grannies idling on the lawn, playing cards or chatting and waiting to collect their grand-children from the school-bus..some mummies too can be seen chatting on the phone as they wait near their society gates… vendors of aluminium utensils and other domestic goods start calling aloud as they know mummies, naanis (mothers’ mothers) and daadis (fathers’ mothers) are bored by now :)… the gardener attending to every detail in brown and green… as some men and women are seen rushing home for a quick lunch………

Dusk : the sky and the skyline glow in a golden radiance along with pearly clouds… school-goers flood the streets..now as playful as kittens and the society playgrounds resound with their chirpy echoes… the college-goers who are a bundle of joviality, dreams and achievements now merrily catch up in various groups at paani-poori (an Indian street food) or ice-cream stalls… uncles and aunties are out for a stroll or to shop at a mandi (an open vegetable market)… early office-goers speed back home amid all the traffic hurls and snarls… and then the daily-wage earners return with their aprons ridden with dust, grime and sweat – now the yellow helmet is balanced in the angle at the elbow of one hand, and white poly-bags of onion, garlic, masala (spices), oil and a black poly-bag suggestive of a meaty feast hang from the tired, infirm fingers of the other :)………

Evening and Night : the moon gracing the dark sky… the late office-goer walking down the lane in a relaxed mood with ear-phones plugged in or loud phone calls made to their far native land, boasting how the boss called him up and asked to apply for a visa :)… then the pretty lass (a new office-goer) is heard urging on her mobile ‘kya kundli-kundli karte rehte ho aap log ??..maiine bola na Papa, mujhe wahan shaadi nahiiiii karni..frequency toh bilkul bhi match nahi ho rahi..aap Bhaiyya se bhi pooch lo !!‘ (a disagreement with parents over a marriage proposal which they have approved solely on horoscope match) :)… the hurrying traders and shop-keepers… the closing of gates and the change of guard… the heart-to-heart conversations of distressed and homeless souls………

the other Occasional Scenes of sorrow, delight, interest and concern : a holy janaja (funeral procession), a sincerely chanting humble group of Siridi Sai Baba bhakts (devotees), that..in sharp contrast to a gaudily crazy procession of some so-called god-man, neatly cladded men – mostly in white – returning from the nearby mosque as the Jumu’ah prayer concludes on Fridays, a fleet of Ganapati bappa morya processions, a dazzling view – far, high – and below – during Diwali, a band-bajaa baraat to whose pulsating tune I can happily do a balle-balle in the inconspicuous dark balcony :)… a beautiful rain and the beaming joy of youngsters getting drenched… a talented show of various street musicians and other artists… a lamp-post repair that makes me the first person in the apartment to know ‘ki aaj se apan yahan pe light jalne wali hai‘ (that this part of my lane is thus going to be lit up), likewise the first person to know where a transformer has blown off or which areas in and around have or lack power supply, who’s moved in and who’s moved out of the society… a political rally, a public announcement, a ‘press gaddi‘ (OB vehicle), a street fight, an instance of moral policing, an accident, a speeding ambulance, a chase by the Police…………

So far, so good…

%d bloggers like this: