Shaadi ke Side Effects

This is the story of after effects of marital bonds and I guess (?) every married person in this world will relate to some or the other aspects of it. Who knows …. the story might be yours

Last week I was watching “Pyar ke Side Effects” on my computer. I got impressed by that movie and Rahul Bose’s on-line commentary on the side effects. The story like many masala Bollywood flicks ends with the heroes being tied up in the nuptial knot, but not without a pinch of salt about the usual male-female clashes. Afterall, life is not the usual fairy tale statement that they happily lived ever after but I feel it should be that they tried their best to happily live ever after . While watching that movie, an interesting idea came to my mind. What about marriage?, I mean what are the side effects of marriage? Thought of writing some fun on it – “Shaadi ke Side effects”.

The first thing that came to my mind is time-liness/ time-less-ness. These two words have very significant implications in the life of a married man. Interestingly, one of my friends who used to be stingy about time and used to get ready 10 minutes before the schedule for a meeting, got delayed by 20 minutes even after repeated reminders post-marriage. But, contrarily the same person rushed back home in a reckless speed almost breathlessly from within the meeting citing the reason that he was already 7 minutes late for a movie show that he and his spouse had planned to watch together (no not in theater but on cable tv at home ). While dropping me on the way, he jumped out to get a popcorn packet for his beloved and brewed the popcorn himself as a punishment for the delay (reported).

Another important and sometimes positive side effect of nuptial bonds is lesser aggressiveness in dealing with situations. The same person who would compromise not even if an entire army decided to shoot him down at once decides to become cowed down to situations. Your life becomes not your but someone else’s property…which he/she has the right to plunder ….Remember the song mar diya jaye ke chod diya jaye bol tere saath kya saluk kiya jaye? . The person who would not compromise on food or sleep can remain awake and hungry for hours … such are the ways of marriage and married people . No more is seen from the black/white view point… it is a “Chalta hai” attitude.

In India the basic problem for any aam bachelor is roti, kapada aur makan (food, clothing and house)! Thanks to the many cheap fast food joints/ vada-pav stalls and some cheaper textile mills that food and clothing is taken care of, but house and especially houses in cities are still the biggest problem for poor unsheltered bachelors (both male/females). But after marriage, suddenly you are chastened and every house owner thinks ur rejected or second-hand stuff and will not create any nuisance for their kith and kins (especially daughters/sons) – “Chadde ko kamra nahin milega” still echoes in my ears .

One more side effect is a sudden boom in visiting friends, relatives which becomes a regular event. Hell becomes heaven (heaven becomes hell too in same cases ). How dare you not praise your aunt-in-law for her new hair-do! How dare you not play chess with your spouse’s uncle! After marriage, friend circles gets expanded, because of a mutual acceptance of both parties’ friend list…may be an entire orkut! :0 (some time gets contracted too if your spouse prefers no one in his/her vicinity ).

While writing this, a popular saying in Hindi came to my mind, “Pahela saal pati ka, dusra saal patni ka, aur tisra saal dono ka”; in the 1st year, husband speaks every thing and wife listens to those obediently, in the 2nd year wife speaks and husband listens and in the 3rd year, both of them speak and we (the neighbors) listen…!! aamjunta don’t forget this

Note: I’m yet to marry; getting to ready to the side effects